Wants

I want a house.

I’m single and a house isn’t really necessary at this point in my life, except that I feel like at this age I should have one. It’s just depressing to think I have nothing to fill that house with. I don’t even necessarily want something to fill it with either. Or do I? This post is just me thinking out loud…move along if you need.

Let me be a little selfish for a second while I list things I want, whether big or small:

House
Extensions
All the makeups
All the hair accessories
A camera and lights to start a vlog
Nice jewelry
Money
Friends
2 more pairs of nice jeans
All the clothes
A huge bookcase filled with my favorites

I look at my list and I see the shallowness.

I looked in my fridge the other day and thought what a truly lucky person I am. I have a full, almost too full, mini fridge.
I thought the other day what a truly lucky person I am after walking outside for 2 seconds and being “freezing cold”. I have a nice apartment in the city to protect me from the elements.
I looked at all the makeup I just bought yesterday and thought what a truly lucky person I am. I have enough money to spend on rent and bills and still buy nice things for myself.

I am a lucky person. I have food, shelter, and nice things. All my basic needs are being met. I can’t forget this. I need to be grateful every day. Thankful everyday. Not get stuck on the things I want, and realize the beauty of the things I already have.

Dear Self, you are okay.

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About Amelia Clare

32 year old queer ethical vegan. Constantly questioning my existence in a world I feel I don't fit into very naturally. A pessimistic bundle of anxiety and depression.
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