Ever feel like you are mindlessly wandering on top of this big, round, ball of a planet? As it quietly spins I sit here trying to figure my shit out. And that seems wrong. Everything seems wrong, shallow, and meaningless. WOW…shit. I did not mean to get all depressing right out of the gate.
Basically, I’m confused. I’m so willing right now to work really hard at something. If I could only figure out what that is. I have this desire and motivation to build something, move towards a goal, find a community I can work with.
My life can be perfectly summed up by this blog. It too is lacking direction. I just have so many directions I could go, and as usual I don’t know whether to turn left or right. Go up or down. Can a blog survive, can I survive, without a specific topic or passion? I guess we will find out?
My problem is, I will get super passionate about something one day, only to find myself bored with it weeks later. I work right now as a receptionist at an animal hospital. I love it, but it’s not a career. It is, however; the first job I’ve had in my existence that I’ve been proud of. Everyone has always told me I should work with animals. I’ve always hesitated because I don’t want to deal with the politics. I don’t want to slowly start hating something I get so much joy out of right now. I’m perfectly okay with volunteering and helping from a distance.
Here’s a list of things I want to do with my life or topics I’d like this blog to focus on:
-use my 3 years of apparel design to find a career/blog focused on fashion and makeup
-use my marketing degree in a creative way/blog about life decisions and finding my way
-work from home/be a blogger
-read for a living/blog about books and review
-own a home/document the journey to getting there
Anyways, I’ll figure things out. I’ve always been kind of a late bloomer. I just feel particularly late on the career train. All my friends, specifically the friends I went to college with, are either on child 4 or successful self-made business women. And I’m over here living paycheck to paycheck. Whoa is me, I know.
Dear Self, no worries. You will figure things out. Life will come together when you least expect it. Love always, Amelia.