My Friend The Internet

I’ve been thinking a lot about blogging/vlogging and social media in general. I’ve been feeling this intense pull to put myself out there on the internet and it didn’t occur to me why until this morning. Gah, and it’s so pathetic but true. I’m fucking lonely. I’ve always reached out to the internet when feeling this way. Mainly through forums and chat rooms. It’s a good way to be social without actually having to get out of the apartment. So, I guess I find myself falling back to something I know works. I’ve been living through other people’s blogs/vlogs, snapchat and instagram stories, youtube channels, twitter accounts, tumblr, facebook….the list goes on. I guess I want to be a part of that. I want to be someone contributing. I always struggle with what it is I have to offer people. Like why does anyone read this? Why would anyone watch anything I made? Truth is I don’t have a lot to offer. Hmmm things to think on.

I’ve been messing around with some editing programs to see if I can even figure out how to set up a vlog. They don’t seem to difficult. It’s the content struggle. So I find I’m doing things backwards. I should have a topic/theme before I set out to make a vlog. I think I need a vlog more than anyone else needs to see me vlogging. Maybe I’ll just create a private video diary. Or something. Some kind of way to get me speaking. We shall see. Thanks for listening to the ramble.

Anyways….

It’s a gloomy day today. And the start of my weekend. Things on my weekend to-do list:

  1. Go to the pharmacy
  2. Laundry
  3. Tidy apartment
  4. Self-defense class
  5. Read 100 pages
  6. Hang with brother
  7. Dinner with Molly

I have no motivation to do any of those things so we’ll see how productive I actually am.

 

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About Amelia Clare

32 year old queer ethical vegan. Constantly questioning my existence in a world I feel I don't fit into very naturally. A pessimistic bundle of anxiety and depression.
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One Response to My Friend The Internet

  1. Alyssa says:

    I’m sorry you’re feeling lonely, I know the feeling all too well. I hope you have a good weekend!

    Liked by 1 person

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