Therapy Woes

I feel like my therapist might be bored with me. That or she was just tired at the last session. Either way, I’m thinking about taking a break from therapy. We were suppose to start EMDR mid February, but now I’m wondering if I should even bother. I sometimes hate myself in those sessions. It’s a wonder my therapist puts up with me. I whine, complain, cry, and talk about my last relationship like we broke up yesterday. I’m sick of myself.

Sometimes I just want to be really passive aggressive and cancel my appointments without contacting her (she uses an online program for scheduling so I don’t have to email her or call). Maybe this is a ploy for attention. I don’t know. I just know that when I cancel my appointments I’m setting out for her to tell me not to come back. Self sabotage because I’d be devastated and probably go down hill pretty rapidly.

Ugh. I’m giving myself until Thursday the 9th to decide. I may just go to an “as needed” basis. That makes me a little sad though because I do love my therapist. She is the nicest and most patient person I’ve met. I really was hoping to do the EMDR, but now I’m just dreading even going into her office.

Life eh?

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About Amelia Clare

32 year old queer ethical vegan. Constantly questioning my existence in a world I feel I don't fit into very naturally. A pessimistic bundle of anxiety and depression.
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