Big Girl

I’m adulting so hard today. *pats self on back* GO…ME.

I’m sitting on hold with the bank. I figured there is no better time to blog. Could be around a 10 minute wait…or that’s what the automated lady on the other end said. I paid all my bills. Nothing like paying bills to make you feel like an adult. I actually really enjoy paying bills. It makes me feel accomplished. Like, I can at least take care of myself alone in this way without the help of others. I have a job that I make enough at. Again, GO…ME. I also just paid off the amount I purchased Waitress tickets for on the credit card as well as the plane ticket and hotel. Good to go on New York…on to saving for Hawaii. Money is coming in.

Another way I’m adulting today is by going to work. This seems like such a small feat, but for me it has always been a good sign. Before getting settled on these meds, I struggled HARD getting the motivation to even get myself out of bed let alone be functional for 8 hours. So here I am today, ready to get shit done. Work and thrive.

As for my death and doom paranoia…still paranoid…today it’s cancer. I think I’m going to make a doctor’s appointment for next week. I’m 32 and haven’t ever had a pap smear…yep. Too scared, but I think it’s time. Especially since i’m committing to taking care of myself this year. Feel free to share your experiences with the lady doctor. Especially if they are good and will ease my freaking out mind. I’m always afraid I’m going to start crying.

Annnnd the bank has answered…off I go! Look out world!

❤ Amy

 

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About Amelia Clare

32 year old queer ethical vegan. Constantly questioning my existence in a world I feel I don't fit into very naturally. A pessimistic bundle of anxiety and depression.
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