Yep. Honestly though it is a little weird that they are even sold there. I’m speaking of Whole Foods specifically. Remember that budget I put myself on a couple of days ago? Yeah, I thought I was safe just going to the grocery store to buy meals for the week, but nooo, Whole Foods has to sell cute, ethically produced, organic cotton tank tops with ridiculous sayings on them like “Love”. And I’m a sucker. I mean I forgot to purchase any fruits or vegetables and still spent $80, but at lease I’ll look cute while lacking proper nutrition for the week. I didn’t need this tank top but I’ve been feeling unusually confident in my body recently and this shirt shows a little belly skin which somehow feels right to me. I’m sure this feeling will disappear and the tank top will retire to the back of my dresser where it will die and finally be donated, but for right now it makes me happy.
In other news, I’m about 40 pages from completing my second book for “health and fitness” reading month. “Wild” by Cheryl Strayed has been a good read. Honestly, it makes me want to get up off my ass and do something epic. What that epic activity would be I have no idea. I’ll have to think on that. Anyways, something I like about Cheryl is her outgoing and willingness to say “yes” personality. She is constantly meeting people, being the first to say “hi”, drinking tea with random hippies she meets in the towns she stops at. I wonder if I were to go on some quest like this if my insecurities would melt away and I’d become more gutsy when it comes to social interaction. The world may never know. I am going to Hawaii by myself so maybe that will be my epic adventure.
I had therapy the other day and it was quite lovely. Therapy is an enjoyable experience for me when I’m feeling good and life is going my way. My therapist seemed really pleased to see me doing so well. We are back to every other week and EMDR slowly begins next session. I do hesitate mentioning some of these things on this blog because I know it’s highly likely that family and friends are reading (I haven’t hidden the fact that this blog exists). I wanted this blog to be honest though. A true depiction of what I’m going through. So, family and friends, if you are reading, sorry shit gets real. It’s about to get a whole lot realer. I suspect a lot of you won’t be able to handle it so I ask that you turn away because in all honesty I don’t want to talk about anything outside of this magical internet space. It’s weird that having such a public blog still gives me a false sense of anonymity. I just feel like this is the space I’ve created. It feels like a safe spot for me to share my true feelings. So, I will continue to “overshare” and spill my secrets. It’s good written therapy I suppose.