Having people over to my apartments has always made me anxious. I don’t know what it is, but I think I’m embarrassed. I’ve walked to the doorway with a friend only to tell them they can’t come in. How awkward am I? I can count on one hand the number of people I’ve had over to my places. 4 people, not including family.
Anyways, I bring this up because I told the latest friend (after turning her away last week) that she could come in today. UUUUGGGHHH. I’m dreading it. I’m going to be scrubbing the entire place down. I just worry people will think I’m gross or weird. My apartment is kind of like a private get away. Maybe I just don’t like sharing it with people. That’s not true. When I had a bigger apartment I use to dream of throwing parties and hosting get togethers, but was always too afraid.
*sigh* I’m off to clean to prepare for this visit.