Independent Selfish Introvert Seeks Same

I’ve started this post a million times and it gets too long winded. Basically I’m questioning whether or not I’m being independent, a selfish person, or just content in my introverted ways. I wish it wasn’t so depressing to just want to get high and stuff my face with the company of my cat and Netflix. What if I don’t like hanging out with people or don’t want a relationship not because of social anxiety, but because I really just hate sharing or worrying about another person?

It’s been a year since the breakup and everyone says I’m doing “so well”. I’m “happy”. I’ve “grown so much”. The pain of it all though still hurts. I still feel numb at times, half human half empty space. I could go on for paragraphs here but I won’t.

This is what’s on my mind this morning. Life is good, but I’m not fabulous. I’m living and breathing and have the will to continue, so I guess that’s all we can ask for yeah?

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About Amelia Clare

32 year old queer ethical vegan. Constantly questioning my existence in a world I feel I don't fit into very naturally. A pessimistic bundle of anxiety and depression.
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One Response to Independent Selfish Introvert Seeks Same

  1. anjage says:

    For me its half a year… I feel you… I have no patience to trust someone, no patience to deal with all these get to know each other… No words to say… And so I work, work, work, at least that goes fine. Enjoy the weekend! 😉

    Like

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